On Creativity

Only those who look with the eyes of children can lose themselves in the object of their wonder.
Eberhard Arnold

On Fatherhood

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.
Richard L. Evans

On Work

"You can't expect what you don't inspect." 

On Education

There's an introduction in Ty Pennington's (Extreme Makeover: Home Edition) book entitled Good Design Can Change Your Life where he discusses his chaotic energy as a young boy and his mother's attempts to quell it in positive ways. Ty also relates the chaos he caused in a classroom with his unique learning style, visual and artistic. A successful person in embryo, Ty relates the bumpy road he had in early development as those around him attempted to decode and channel his unique talent, passion, energy and learning style.

MH

On Traditions

A cherished family tradition we began years ago when the boys were little guys still seems to be ever-popular with my teens. Just before family prayer in the evening we go around the family circle and every person takes a turn saying what he admires and/or appreciates about each person. The boys always act as if they could take or leave this activity but I instantly see their countenances change when their strengths and contributions are focused upon.  Of course mom and dad don't mind receiving the ackowledgements either! I'm amazed at how it can instantly change the tone of a stressed and appreciation depleted family time. It seems to prepare us for the family prayer too. A total love fest !

MH

On Fatherhood

The greatest gift I ever had, came from God I call him Dad.

On Fatherhood

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love his mother.
Author Unknown

On Boy Behavior

"My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, 'You're tearing up the grass.' 'We're not raising grass,' Dad would reply. 'We're raising boys.'"
~ Harmon Killebrew

On Fatherhood

My father was a man of love. He always loved me to death. He worked hard in the fields, but my father never hit me. Never. I don't ever remember a really cross, unkind word from my father.
~ Johnny Cash

On Fatherhood

My mother and father, Joe and Theresa Montana brought me along and taught me to never quit, and to strive to be the best.
~ Joe Montana

On Fatherhood

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."
~ Bill Cosby

On Fatherhood

"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich."
~ M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

On Education

"There are no adequate substitutes for father, mother, and children bound together in a loving commitment to nurture and protect. No government, no matter how well-intentioned, can take the place of the family in the scheme of things."
~ Gerald Ford

On Fatherhood

"A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station."~ Bill Cosby

On Fatherhood

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
~ Mark Twain

On Fatherhood

"My father always taught me to appreciate what you're fortunate to have and give back to those who need it. No part of our society is more important than the children, especially the ones who need our help."
~ Dan Marino

On Fatherhood

"I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week."
~ Mario Cuomo

On Education

"Train up a child in the way which he should goand when he is old he will not depart from it."
~ Bible, Proverbs 22:6

On Fatherhood

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

MH

On Fatherhood

"Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children."~ Bill Cosby

On Fatherhood

"Becoming a father, I think it inevitably changes your perspective of life. I don't get nearly enough sleep. And the simplest things in life are completely satisfying. I find you don't have to do as much, like you don't go on as many outings."~ Hugh Jackman

On Character

No man stands so straight as when he stoops to help a boy.  Knights of Pythagorus

On Courage

 "Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others."

Winston Churchill

On Humility

Humility means understanding that the joys, pains and needs of others are just as important as our own. When we practice humility, we can begin to minimize, laugh at and even set aside our self-importance. We can willingly examine our own faults and acknowledge the strengths of others. When we are humble we are teachable and recognize how much we have been given that is unearned.

Humility makes us aware of our personal limitations and the limitations of the human condition. We can acknowledge that there is so much we do not yet know. Having a humble heart opens us to increasing growth and love.

MH

On Housekeeping

I remember about a week after we adopted my second son, an infant, I was well aware that the housework and piles of laundry had grown exponentially. As a recovering perfectionist I had already made mental adjustments with my two year-old and thought I was doing quite well with the disarray but the new piles of toys, laundry and dishes put me in altered states. I was trying so hard to enjoy my new sweet baby boy but I was exhausted, short-changing my nap times with clean-up sessions. I finally felt like I was going to blow a gasket and quickly dialed one of my best friends in Tennessee who was also a practicing marriage and family therapist. I relayed to her in bazaar detail the trail of clothing, toys and Sippy cups that littered my hallway. She patiently listened as I paused to wipe my tears in between blurts of explanation about my horrifying, insurmountable scene. Making sure I was out of words and sobs she said, "OK, this is going to be profound are you ready?" I said, "Yes, I'm ready", just sure I was about to get a clinical understanding of the inner workings of my brain and perhaps a prescription I could pick up at the pharmacy for "clutter disturbance" or something. She said, "OK, walk into the hallway and we'll do this together.......Are you ready?.......STEP OVER IT."

We both began laughing uncontrollably and I felt so much better! I asked her if I could call her when I felt I was on shaky ground with that awful, overwhelmed feeling. She said ,"Of course" and I did ! It got me through those tough days! I love ya Bonnie ! MH

On Boy Talk

Ray Arnold: Hold on to your butts.
Jurassic Park

On Divine Nature

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."  Teilhard de Chardin

On Encouragement

Best-selling author Stephen Covey writes in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families:

“Good families—even great families—are off track 90 percent of the time! The key is that they have a sense of direction. They know what the ‘track’ looks like. And they keep coming back to it time and time again.”

On Discouragement

"You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better."
Maya Angelou

On Organization

Raising Boys, Not Cows

There is a little farm on the edge of Tooele where my father was born.  It was on this farm, when we were teenagers, that my father decided my brother and I needed to learn how to work. He was pretty busy, but he had my brother and me working on that farm..........We had a number of cows that we were milking, and it was quite an experience. We built a little reservoir on the farm so that we wouldn't have to get up at three o'clock in the morning to take the water. We could run the water in the reservoir and use it as we needed it.

We had some great experiences on the farm, my teenage brother and I, unsupervised. I think he was more steady than I was. We had some fruit trees and a lot of lucern, a lot of hay. We grew some corn; we grew a little wheat. We had a number of things on that farm. We weren't the best farmers in the world. We were doing the best we could, but we were not the best farmers. We were surrounded by other farms, and those farms were being farmed by people who knew what they were doing.

One day one of the neighbors came to my father. He was a farmer, and he had a whole list of the things that my brother and I were doing wrong. I think I could have added more things to that list than he had. Anyway, he went down the list as he was talking to my father, and my father sat back and then he said, "Jim, you don't understand. You see, I'm raising boys, not cows."

LOREN C. DUNN

On Faith

I believe the most valuable contribution a parent can make to his child is to instill in him a genuine faith in God.

On Education

Those who control what young people are taught and what they experience, what they see, hear, think and believe...will determine the future course for the nation.

Children At Risk

On Discipline

Our deep love for children makes us tremendously vulnerable to their needs.  Yet there are times when we must let them struggle. They can't enter adulthood until we release them from our protective custody.

Dr. James Dobson

On Discipline

Affection and warmth underlie all mental and physical health, yet they do not eliminate the need for careful training and guidance.

James Dobson, Dare to Discipline

On Discipline

"When a parent loses the early confrontation with a child, the later conflicts become harder to win."
James Dobson, Dare to Discipline

On Housekeeping

Housework Can Wait

Come in, but don't expect to find
All dishes done, all floors ashine.
Observe the crumgs and toys galore.
The smudgy prints upon the door.
The little ones we shelter here
Don't thrive on a spotless atmosphere.
They're more inclined to disarray
And carefree even messy play.
Their needs are great, their patience small.
All day I'm at their beck and call.
It's Mommy come! Mommy see!
Wiggly worms and red scraped knee.
Painted pictures, blocks piled high.
My floors unshined, the days go by.
Some future day they'll flee this nest,
And I at last will have a rest!
Now you tell me which matters more,
A happy child or a polished floor?

...Author Unknown

On Boy Talk

E.L.F.S. Leader: We're your worst nightmare. Elves with attitude.
Share this quote

From the movie Elf

On Boy Talk

Buddy: You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don't smell like Santa.

(Elf, the movie)
Share this quote

On Boy Talk

Eugene: [brainstorming for a new book] What about this: a tribe of asparagus children, but they're self-conscious about the way their pee smells.

(Elf, the movie)

On Boy Talk

Buddy: [as he is hit by a snowball] SON of a NUTcracker!
Share this quote

On Boy Talk

Randy: Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double-beatloaf. I hate meatloaf.
The Christmas Story

On Boy Talk

Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Mrs. Parker: No, you'll shoot your eye out.
Share this quote

On Boy Talk

You are the Pan ( in amazement). (Starts smiling) You can fly, you can fight, and you can (Crowing noise from Peter) crow. (Both bow to each other).
-Rufio

On Boy Talk

Rude, lude, crude bag of pre-chewed food dude!
-Peter Pan (Hook)

On Housekeeping

"This mess is too big and too deep and to tall. We can't clean it up! We can't clean it up at all!"
— Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat

On Housekeeping

"Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, “Respect me; I’m a respectable grown-up!" and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death."
—Wendy Wasserstein

On Housekeeping

"I've buried a lot of my laundry in the back yard."
— Phyllis Diller

On Housekeeping

"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on."
— Roseanne Barr

On Housekeeping

"Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven."
— Erma Bombeck

On Housekeeping

"No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick."
— Erma Bombeck

On Housekeeping

"All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. "
— Erma Bombeck

On Housekeeping

"Housework can kill you if done right."
— Erma Bombeck

On Housekeeping

There are practical little things in housekeeping which no man really understands. Eleanor Roosevelt

On Housekeeping

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.
Marcelene Cox

On Housekeeping

Housekeeping is incredibly difficult with three kids. I'm trying to be more relaxed. You'll go insane if you try to have a picture-book house.

Patrick Dempsey

On Creativity

If you want to be creative, stay in part a child, with the creativity and invention that characterizes children before they are deformed by adult society.

Jean Piaget
Swiss philosopher
1896–1980

On Imagination

When children pretend, they’re using their imaginations to move beyond the bounds of reality. A stick can be a magic wand. A sock can be a puppet. A small child can be a superhero.

Fred Rogers
American children’s television host
1928–2003

On Play

The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct.

Carl Jung
Swiss psychoanalyst
1875–1961

On Play

Deep meaning lies often in childish play.

Johann Friedrich von Schiller
German poet
1759–1805

On Play

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.

Kay Redfield Jamison
Contemporary American professor of psychiatry

On Creativity

Almost all creativity involves purposeful play.

Abraham Maslow
American psychologist
1908–1970

On Play

Play is our brain's favorite way of learning.

Diane Ackerman
Contemporary American author

On Time Management

Pausing to listen to an airplane in the sky, stooping to watch a ladybug on a plant, sitting on a rock to watch the waves crash over the quayside—children have their own agendas and timescales. As they find out more about their world and their place in it; they work hard not to let adults hurry them. We need to hear their voices.

Cathy Nutbrown
Contemporary British educational theorist

On Creativity

We all need empty hours in our lives or we will have no time to create or dream.

Robert Coles

On Play

Ritual grew up in sacred play; poetry was born in play and nourished on play; music and dancing were pure play.... We have to conclude, therefore, that civilization is, in its earliest phases, played. It does not come from play...it arises in and as play, and never leaves it.

Johan Huizing
Dutch historian
1872–1945

On Play

A child who does not play is not a child, but the man who does not play has lost forever the child who lived in him.

Pablo Neruda
Chilean poet
1904–1973

On Boy Behavior

I believe that those boys who take part in rough, hard play outside of school will not find any need for horse-play in school.

Theodore Roosevelt
American president
1858–1919

On Play

It is in playing, and only in playing, that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only in being creative that the individual discovers the self.

D.W. Winnicott

British pediatrician

1. 1896–1971

On Recording Memories

"I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: 'I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.' I went inside. I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write."
Henry Eyring

On Simplicity

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

On Time Management

Time spent in one area is time taken away in another.

On Values

Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built.

James Dobson

On Stress

Teacher cannot solve or heal all student stress. The teacher can be vigilant in trying to guide the child toward solutions;but the teacher's job in relation to this stress is ultimately to help the child learn to manage his or her own stress wisely. In accomplishing this, the teacher mentors higher academic learning by removing distracting stress, and teaches valuable life-survival skills.   
— Michael Gurian, Boys and Girls Learn Differently!

On Boy Behavior

I've come to understand that a parent must know who each individual child really is in order to parent well.
MH

Boy Behavior

Boys often need us to give them more time than girls need, and they often need us to connect their feelings to objects in the outside world.   
—     Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys

On Spirituality

"Boys need to learn the value of spiritual solitude. For the soul to grow, it needs those moments of no-stimulation, of wakeful peace. Because we adults don't usually practice enough solitude—because we are always 'doing' things—we often neglect to teach our boys to find solitude"
—Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys

On Spirituality

"Few things give a human being as much spiritual depth as relationship. If we teach effective communication and conflict-resolution skills to our boys from early on, we lay a foundation for spiritual groundedness. This means we must communicate effectively and resolve conflicts with them as much as possible. By our modeling and teaching, they'll gain the skill to go nearly anywhere and relate effectively, with appropriate boundaries, with good skills, and also with an ability to not take it personally when things go wrong."
— Michael Gurian

On Compassion

"The quickest way to create a boy or man who lacks compassion is to judge and shame his feelings."
— Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys

On Boy Behavior

If an educational act is to be efficacious, it will be only that one which tends to help toward the complete unfolding of life. To be thus helpful it is necessary rigorously to avoid the arrest of spontaneous movements and the imposition of arbitrary tasks.

Maria Montessori

Education

We cannot know the consequences of suppressing a child's spontaneity when he is just beginning to be active. We may even suffocate life itself. That humanity which is revealed in all its intellectual splendor during the sweet and tender age of childhood should be respected with a kind of religious veneration. It is like the sun which appears at dawn or a flower just beginning to bloom. Education cannot be effective unless it helps a child to open up himself to life.

Maria Montessori

Education

Establishing lasting peace is the work of education; all politics can do is keep us out of war.

Maria Montessori

On Education

Free the child's potential, and you will transform him into the world.

Maria Montessori

On Education

Plainly, the environment must be a living one, directed by a higher intelligence, arranged by an adult who is prepared for his mission.

Maria Montessori

On Boy Behavior

Respect all the reasonable forms of activity in which the child engages and try to understand them.

Maria Montessori

On Education

The first essential for the child’s development is concentration. The child who concentrates is immensely happy.

Maria Montessori

On Education

Education is a natural process carried out by the child and is not acquired by listening to words but by experiences in the environment.
Maria Montessori

On Innocence

Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future.

Maria Montessori

On Education

One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters. ~George Herbert

On Adoption Love

"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Author: Fleur Conkling Heylinger

On a Mother's Love

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

Encouragement

“Never, never, never, never give up.”

Winston Churchill

On Imagination

When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge (Reading this makes me wonder how much sooner man could have walked on the moon...had we listened to a child's fantasies. It is truly a pity that so many lose their gift of imagination to the steady hum of the status quo.) Albert Einstein

On Compassion

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
 Leo Buscaglia

On Curiosity

"Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child." Ron Wild

On Faith

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step"
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

On Rebels

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." 
Steve Jobs- Apple Computers

On Friendship

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.” – Unknown

On Motherhood

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle Is The Hand That Rules The World

Poem by William Ross Wallace

Praises motherhood as the preeminent force for change in the world.

 The Hand that rocks the Cradle
Is The Hand That Rules The World

Blessings on the hand of women!
Angels guard its strength and grace,
In the palace, cottage, hovel,
Oh, no matter where the place;
Would that never storms assailed it,
Rainbows ever gently curled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

Infancy's the tender fountain,
Power may with beauty flow,
Mother's first to guide the streamlets,
From them souls unresting grow--
Grow on for the good or evil,
Sunshine streamed or evil hurled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

Woman, how divine your mission
Here upon our natal sod!
Keep, oh, keep the young heart open
Always to the breath of God!
All true trophies of the ages
Are from mother-love impearled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

Blessings on the hand of women!
Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,
And the sacred song is mingled
With the worship in the sky--
Mingles where no tempest darkens,
Rainbows evermore are hurled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

William Ross Wallace

    

On Friendship

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik

On Communication

Most mothers are instinctive philosophers. ~Harriet Beecher Stowe

On Friendship

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

On A Mother's Love

A mother understands what a child does not say. ~Author Unknown

On Prayer

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. ~Robert Brault

On A Mother's Love

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

On Housekeeping

My husband has great one liners.  He jokingly said, "If somebody ever broke into our house they would just turn right around and leave because it already looks like we've been ransacked!"
What can I say? My two boys can toss a room faster than any crook or FBI agent.

-Ange

On Friendship

"She discovered with great delight that one does not love one's children just because they are one's children but because of the friendship formed while raising them." — Gabriel García Márquez (Love in the Time of Cholera)

On Endurance

Saints are sinners who kept on going.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson

On Perseverence

Perseverance... keeps honor bright:  to have done, is to hang quite out of fashion, like a rusty nail in monumental mockery.  ~William Shakespeare

On Endurance

It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer.  ~Albert Einstein

On Perseverence

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.  ~Newt Gingrich

On Discouragement

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

On Discouragement

“Every great work, every great accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement.”

Florence Scovill Shinn

On Trying Your Best

"Our task is to become our best selves. One of God's greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final."
--Thomas S. Monson

On The Mind of a Boy

To help my sons find the meaning of math and develop responsibility for their own finances we have always had the token economy in place in our household. Basically this means they work for their earnings and spend what they earn.

One evening I walked in the bathroom to make sure my son of seven years had brushed his teeth before bed. I was shocked to find him up on the counter, squatting in front of the mirror with determined hands in his mouth. I was startled as I noticed countless tissues crumpled and scattered in the periphery. In a bit of a mom panic I said, "Honey, what are you doing?!"  In a jolly voice he replied, "Well mommy, I spent too much this week and if I can just get this loose tooth out, the Tooth Fairy will bring me fifty cents while I'm sleeping so I can buy a doughnut tomorrow at school".

I quickly checked his teeth and could not find one loose tooth. I mercifully offered him a dollar to leave his teeth alone.

On Play

Some of the best memories we have as a family are moments in time that spontaneously combusted into uncontrollable activity and laughter. The kind of laughter where you nearly pee your pants (or do) and can't catch your breath.

I remember one night a bat flew into the house when I opened the front door to turn off the front sprinkler.  Just sure it would make its new home in my hair I belted out a blood curdling scream that rattled all three boys out of their beds to see what was the matter.  All I could do was point and scream, "Bat !"  The boys all squealed and quickly summoned my husband's help, "Daddy, help mommy a bat is going to get her!" He quickly grabbed his handy salmon net on a pole and began an attempt to shoo this small but creepy creature out the nearest door.  I will never forget a frenzied, serpentine run from room to room with my boys in tow, shrieking and slamming doors as we attempted to outrun the flight path of  this vampire.  Our skill as a team came into play as we would jump over the family dog and slide on the wooden floor in stocking feet to our next safe destination.  As the bat would change direction we would duck and limbo under the whooshes of the projectile net and as I remember it seemed to have no apparent concern for my husband as we quickly locked him out of rooms in which we took cover.  After all, he was armed and brave and well, " the dad". The poor man was on his own but I will never forget the look of successful satisfaction on his face when he proudly reported in a chiefly voice, "The imposter has been safely discharged". It was enough heightened female hysteria  and  Teradactyl-like adventure to conjure an enduring family legend.  We respectfully call it, "The night dad got the bat".

MH

On Laughter

It's so important to laugh at our faults, shortcomings and silly mistakes with our children. It will help us keep a sense of humor about the ironies of life and help our spirited boys see that the goal is to be human, not perfect.

One of the phrases we have adopted as a great catch-all sentiment when one of us makes a mistake or is the key player in a mishap goes like this, "Oh, I'm just a cotton-headed-ninni-muggins ". Or, it can be an indictment, "I guess you're just a cotton-headed-ninni-muggins". I love how this diffuses the moment of mistake realization. It generally reduces us all to laughter and then we let it go. We took this from the movie Elf.

MH

On Fatherhood

Like many fathers, he had a favorite ritual: to put his whole family in the car and drive somewhere. It didn't matter where--what mattered was that he was behind the wheel.  -Signe Hammer

On Fatherhood

"Are you lost, daddy?" I asked. "Shut up," he explained.
-Ring Lardner

On Fatherhood

He was strong rather than profound.........I often wonder about him. In my struggle to be a writer, it was he who supported me and backed me and explained me....-John Steinbeck

On Affirmation

I am not a perfect mom, but I'm a good mom of spirited boys. I have and I will continue to humbly walk, run, leap, stumble, tumble, dance, stretch, tip-toe, balance, stand still and crawl on all fours in search of the best ways to love them so they might feel the pure love of their Heavenly Father and know for a surety of their divine nature and the unfolding miracle they are.

And above all I will remember to pray and listen.

MH

On Getting Mad

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are !"   Bill Cosby

On Quiet Time

Parents aren't interested in justice - they want QUIET! Bill Cosby

---

.'

On Doing Your Best

When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.   Helen Keller

 

 

On Attitude

Self pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world.

Helen Keller

 

On Happiness

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

Helen Keller

 

 

On Character

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. -Helen Keller

 

 

 

On Community

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. -Margaret Mead

On Courage

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our fears, our presence automatically liberates others. -Marianne Williamson

On Curiosity

Being curious is a driving force in our human nature. It's the strong desire to know or learn something that brought us into our very being.  It is the child-like act of asking questions with eyes wide open to what the possibilities may be. As children we found joy and wonder in everything around us. Often as we age we forget how to be passionately curious and we must make a conscious effort to return to a child-like way of observing this beautiful world.

The best teachers I have ever observed know how to make inquiry an on-going and passionate quest. Their students are invited to learn right along with them. They teach what they know and continue to learn themselves expanding their curiosity. If they don't know the answer when asked they say, "I don't know, let's learn together."

As a parent you can revive your ability to be curious by thinking of something you would love to learn about and making it a priority to begin the process. Often as busy parents of spirited boys we easily put our own curious desires on the back burner and legitimately can think of a hundred reasons why we shouldn't indulge ourselves.  It may feel awkward or even selfish at first but make a little time for your own curious pursuits. When your children see you set the example for inquiry they are more likely to maintain their own insatiably curious natures. When they witness your passion for inquiry and see you light up with something you're interested in they will osmotic-ally learn to nourish their own child-like zest for learning. They will always remember the family quest for learning as an enjoyable part of life.

To this day my oldest sons can still remember falling asleep to my level one piano practice. My "curious life" most often began at their bedtime. Although a bit of a trick sometimes to weave it in, I've always felt energized and renewed after creating a space for my own curious pursuits. I do know I was better equipped the following day to nurture theirs.

MH

On Uniqueness

One day our descendants will think it incredible that we paid so much attention to things like the amount of melanin in our skin or the shape of our eyes or our gender instead of the unique identities of each of us as complex human beings. -Franklin Thomas

On Love

The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides, and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire. - Teilhard de Chardin

On Play

Often a mother needs to adapt to the gross motor needs of her spirited boys. They must have a way to move their limbs, run, jump, bail, swing, kick, punch, push, climb, repel, fly and soar. Brain science supports our understanding of this need in their male development.

As most parents know there is a strong magnetic attraction between spirited boys and a puddle of mud. The two seem to find each other with a fine-tuned resonance that boggles the mind. As most mothers I was hard-wired with the notion that I was doing my job successfully to keep my spirited boys out of the abyss of a mud-puddle. I prided myself on the creative ways I had found to redirect, reward and discipline my little guys into not making the dreadful dive.

One day, the boys had maxed with three consequective days of rain and a limited indoor venue for their bursting energy.  I was faced with the fact that the only way I was going to responsibly relieve the contents under pressure was to take a wet walk with them. The sun was beginning to shine, I grabbed a folding chair and checked my "common-sense" at the door on the way out. A mother with a mission, I marched my boys to the local ball-park and upon arrival announced that the assignment was to find the biggest, best mud-puddle on the field and jump in it!  The looks on their faces was a priceless combination of grinning gratitude and heartfelt concern that mommy had finally lost her mind. My oldest son said, "Are you sure Mommy?"  I reassured him that I was onboard and lucid with the family rules breach and then yelled, "Ready, set, go!" 

Committed to my paradigm shift, I relaxed into my chair and enjoyed an hour and a half of unbridled boy frolic. It was heavenly for all of us and the peaceful flow of the moment was only briefly interupted by a gardener who shot me a glance of shame as if I had broken the first commandment of good mothering. The moment was a bit awkward so I invited him to join us. We both giggled with the collusion of the broken law and laughed with an undeniable assurity that we were both beholding moments of true joy in the life of spirited boys.


Note to Self: Mud puddles are my friend. Always bring an extra pair of dry shoes.
M Hancock

Exhaustion

I remember one particular afternoon after a morning at the park with my boys. After a few hours of chasing them up the slides, spotting their free-falls and pushing three swings at once I came home and declared "nap time" for everyone. My plan was to tackle the morning dishes and pay bills while the boys were sleeping. The last thing I remember I was humming a little tune to quiet the moment and hush their tired spirits. A few hours later I woke up to a little boy face right in mine saying in the best whisper a spirited boy can muster, "Mommy, look what we made out of you". I looked up and suddenly understood Gulliver as my arms and legs were tied to furniture providing structure for a masterfully designed fort in our living room.

MH

Housekeeping

Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.  ~Author Unknown

On The Mother-Son Relationship

The mother-son relationship is usually a subtle interaction between letting go and grasping--and that is what makes the process and the understanding of it so infinitely complex   -Paul Olson

On Empowering

We can empower our spirited boys by making sure they feel our confidence in their ability to solve a problem.
The clear message that "You have a problem; I know you can solve it" must permeate the air as we reflect our faith in their capability.

We run the risk of destroying their sense of self-worth by inadvertently sending the message, "You have a problem, but I don't think (or I'm not sure) you can solve it."

This mind-set for a parent often takes a lot of practice and conscious effort but is well worth the pursuit.
MH

On Nurturing Their Nature

To acknowledge the innate, God-given, twister-like fury of a spirited boy is much like respecting the facts of a hurricane.

MH

On Education

Often it is necessary to free a spirited boy from playing a role that is not serving him. As a parent or teacher you can be the loving reflection of who he is. He may desperately need your help in discovering the beauty of  his core personality, learning style, unique talents and abilities and how he blesses the world around him.

* Model the behavior you would like to see.
* As a parent or teacher  look for opportunities to show your spirited boy a new picture of  himself.
* Put your spirited boy in a situation where he can see himself differently through his contributions.
* Let him overhear you say something positive about him on a regular basis.
* Remind him regularly of his past accomplishments.

Be steadfast in your attempts to give him the gift of an unfolding vision of his divine nature and all he can be.

MH

On Education

Every child needs to be seen as a "learner" and encouraged to experience the joy of intellectual discovery and the satisfaction of making progress, no matter what his learning style or individual pace may be.

MH

On Embarrassment

Most parents feel the keen embarrassment of having the infant or child misbehave......and they are apt to offer a tacit apology and a vague self-defense by sharply reprimanding the child in words that are meant to give the visitor the idea that they-the parents-never heard or saw such conduct before, and are now frozen with amazement.    - Agnes H. Morton

On Grandmas

When a child is born so is a grandmother. - Italian Proverb

On Exhaustion

More than half of American women (60%) say they only get a good night’s sleep a few nights per week or less and 67% say they frequently experience a sleep problem. 

43% say that daytime sleepiness interferes with their daily activities.  National Sleep Foundation (NSF).

Women’s lack of sleep affects virtually every aspect of their time-pressed lives, leaving them late for work, stressed out, too tired for intimacy and little time for their friends.

Women who spend less than 7 hours in bed at night are more likely to doze off during the day, report symptoms of depression, drive drowsy and use coping mechanisms just to make it through their day. 
    
Source:  National Sleep Foundation (NSF), Sleep In America Poll 2007 

These facts suggest a need to continually re-trench the family balance so mothers of spirited boys can get a good night's sleep.

 

On Boy Talk

Boys often tell us their feelings by doing, not by saying.

-Patti Atkins Noel, Elementary School Guidance Counselor

On Exhaustion

The human body will not tolerate unchecked pressure. When one's body is finally exhausted the emotions will also malfunction.

On Grandmas

                    Where Have All The Grandmas Gone

In the dim and distant past
When life's tempo wasn't so fast
Grandma used to rock and knit,
Crochet, tat and baby sit.

When the kids were in a jam
They could always call on Gram.

But today she's in the gym
Exercising to keep slim.

She's checking the web or surfing the net,
Sending some e-mail by computer she sets.

Nothing seems to stop or block her,
Now that Grandma's off her rocker.
~author unknown~

On Fatherhood

Raising a family, in spite of being a heck of a lot of work, should be the most fun, rewarding thing a man does in his life. - Ron Woods

On Exhaustion

10 Tips for how to cope with "new mom" exhaustion.
Quick Click Here

On Nurturing Their Nature

Our own nature hides from us, but wants to be found.
 -Heraclitus

On Creativity

Real creativity cannot occur if the creative impulse is constantly sublimated into habitual activity.

Take care not to over-schedule the family day. Allow free time for you and your spirited boys. Creativity has a better chance to flourish in these empty spaces.
MH

On Beholding

Most mothers can relate to the common experience of watching our little ones as they sleep. It's a sweet pause that allows us to quietly take in that precious unfolding miracle.

At the end of a busy day with your spirited boy, don't forget to watch him when he sleeps and tell yourself, "Job well done!"

MH

On Discipline

Don't always expect a boy to look you in the eyes when disciplining, he finds this embarrassing.

On Housekeeping

CHAOS is "Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome" The Flylady

On Imagination

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”  

Albert Einstein

On Self Image

It's important to encourage the efforts your spirited boy makes, not necessarily his ability or his talent.  Recent research shows that encouragement of effort is far more effective in development of perseverance and a positive self image than praising a child for his intelligence or raw ability.

On Boy Behavior

Although it can be tiring at times, as parents of spirited boys we need to appreciate that they are built for activity. This proclivity for activity must be accounted for when we are creating structure for boys. Within their learning and play environments we need to give boys an opportunity to move and  make activity a part of their tasks as much as possible.

It's imperative that teachers and parents provide time to be active at regular intervals to help manage the wiggles.  For example: Give boys the more active chores to do at home and in the classroom.
MH

On Play

Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children.  ~Marilyn Penland

On Play

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.  ~William D. Tammeus

On Hindsight

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

On Play

You will always be your child's favorite toy.  ~Vicki Lansky

On Friendship

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one" -CS Lewis

 

Moms of spirited boys must seek out and find a true friend that "gets" their world. Venting the day's unique madness and comparing notes with laughter is a survival strategy that is not optional !

On Creativity

"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." 
- Walt Disney

On Calamity

There was a mother who baked a cherry pie from scratch to share with dear friends. One of her young sons begged and begged to carry it out to the car. Against her own wisdom and worn down by her son's repeated pleas she finally allowed this little man to carry the pie. As she turned around to grab her keys she heard a distinctive crash and clatter. Her little boy was speechless as he looked up at her with a broken pie and plate at his feet.  A few seconds after digesting the mishap the mother said, "Let's get some forks". With smiles from ear to ear, the little boys and their mom sat on the ground and shared the most delicious cherry pie.

I'm not sure of the origin of this story but I have carried it in my back pocket for years as an amazing example of finding the sweet opportunities in little boy calamities.

On Education

The role of education is to interest children profoundly in activities to which they will give all their natural potential. - Maria Montessori

On Housekeeping

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.  ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966


My second favorite household chore is ironing.  My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.  ~Erma Bombeck

You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping.  ~Rudyard Kipling
 

On Fatherhood

To a young boy, the father is a giant from whose shoulders you can see forever.  -Perry Garfinkel